The one and only

God, you know what's retarded about that?
The owner of the chimpanzee says, defending the idea of owning chimps as pets,

"They're the closest thing to humans. The closest thing to us. How many people go crazy and kill other people? This is one incident that I don't know what happened."

Ok, this is the thing. You don't keep humans as pets! You don't keep your children in cages and take them out on car rides and spoil them with Filleted Mignon and chocolate, and drug them with anti-anxiety pills. Why? Because children, unlike chimps, actually ARE human beings, and they have way too much social, sensitive, and emotional receptors in their brains to be treated like a pet. Of course they'd be extremely messed up!

So if you say that chimps are just like humans, that's exactly why you shouldn't be keeping them as pets in cages either. If you can't let a chimp run around like a child, grow up and run around in society as adults, then obviously chimps aren't meant to be in human society. They're meant to be in chimp society out in the forests where they came from. You can interact with them all you want but they're sentient animals, just like we are sentient beings as well, and they are not meant to be kept in cages, ordered around, and pampered irresponsibly like you would a dog or cat, just in the same way that you don't do that to your own children or your own friends and family.

DUH

Like human societies say "they're not safe" but that's really not the issue. You could say that humans are not safe for the very same reasons. The point is that they're not meant to be kept as pets, just like you don't keep other human beings as pets. The similarity between our species justifies that in that fact alone.





You know, for that matter, it's not very healthy to keep any pet locked up all the time. Cats are fearful of the outside world because their entire world is the interior of your house. Dogs can become aggressive, scared, or even physically sick from being cooped up in a house, or much worse, a cage or small fenced in area. Even hamsters can get sick and aggressive if they're always left in their cages. You have to play with them, let them run around (that's what those ball things are made for), let them be hamsters! In fact, there is an article somewhere about a woman who trains mice. She has a whole colony of mice that are perfectly trained and don't over breed or anything because she actually took the time and patience to observe them and understand the way mice are. You have people like the Dog Whisperer who do the same for dogs, the Horse Whisperer for horses, if you spend enough time underwater you discover the interrelationships between aquatic life too. Animals are all sentient beings, they just do things differently because they are different forms of life. Our advantage is that we have amazing powers to observe, create, and understand a countless amount of things. I think we should use that unique gift of ours to celebrate all life forms, not try to overcome and overpower them.

I LOVE how this is all coming right after I said that people are sexually mature from the ages of 9 to 49, and I wasn't kidding. You all know when you first started having special feelings! Don't lie! XD Here in Japan, apparently, this is common knowledge ..

( See Below the cut )

PS - my tags are terrible, they make me look like a pedophile >_<

So, I'm watching Sailor Moon as usual, finally got to Sailor Moon Super series.
Now the group of girls are taking practice entrance exams for high school, and as usual Usagi sucks royally at it.

But I found this one particular question, which was on her exam, rather sketchy!
Have a look:



"Question 6: Please read the English text and answer the questions
One day Mr. Ikuhara went to Roppongi to do nanpa. He was tired after a big work. So he applied for comfort from any tender girl.
(But?) he was caught _______ new-half. ..."

Vocabulary for my readers:
Roppongi: Very hip area in Tokyo where lots of young people go clubbing, bar-hopping, partying, and hang out with hip foreigners :P
nanpa: hitting on girls
new-half: I don't even really understand myself, but they're like men who've had a sex change but still have penises, or women who somehow have penises... it's a term that's only even really used in porno/hentai type material XD

Like, yes, I made that whole entry about sex and stuff. But I think there are just some places where that sort of thing doesn't really FIT. Like the English part of a mock high school entrance exam for 9th grade Japanese students XD

One more thing.

I've been thinking about sex and the body and stuff, and like even though we do have sex ed (several times even) in school, I think there is too much negativity placed on sex and not enough actual helpful information. Not enough description of actual body parts and their functions, and too much information about the "dangers" of getting pregnant and the risk of STD infection, leads to a youth who are fearful in general about their own body, and what comes naturally to them. The recent generations seemed to have exploded in sexual rebelliousness, but sexual rebelliousness is far from anything new. Sexual desires are completely natural, and when you have sex with another and both of you enjoy it, it's a wonderful thing. I think that people should not be discouraged to having sex, but rather be encouraged to abstain until they feel ready to have sex. I didn't have sex until I was 23 years old, but the experience has opened my mind to what it means spiritually, emotionally, physically, and I've spent a lot of time looking up different things that kind of revolve around sex and sexual body parts.

OMG I forgot to mention, I also STRONGLY dislike the overwhelming messages that are shoved in our brains, about how getting pregnant is bad. Pregnancy is WONDERFUL, having children is what are bodies are meant to do, and such a creation, one which leads to life itself, is the most glorious creation that humans could ever be capable of. You need nothing at all to accomplish such a magnificent creation, absolutely nothing - other than another person. How amazing is that? I think the misconception that our society has is that pregnancy isn't bad, and underage pregnancy isn't bad either. What's "bad" (or rather, not supportive to our nature as human beings, nor as a society as human beings) is that our current system of raising children does not coincident with our nature as human beings.

Young people from the age 9 to 49 or so, are sexually mature and often begin to have sexual interest. These people are also still learning about life, making mistakes, hurting others, hurting themselves, making up, moving on with life, doing something else that hurts them or others, moving on.. All the way into their 30's and 40's, they are still discovering the world and their part in it. Yet, our society puts the responsibility of raising children on THEM, of all people. It's the blind leading the blind, all because in our society, you OWN the children you bear. The responsibility is yours and your alone, even though your offspring will go out and interact with the whole of society.

Doesn't that then make the whole responsibility, that of the whole of society? (The answer is yes, in case you were confused.) This coincides with another social problem - the elderly. The young are always mad at the elderly because they live off of our tax dollars and yet contribute little to nothing to society. It seems to escape the minds of the youth that it is the youth who keep the elderly from making any sort of contribution at all. People are forced to retire just when they could really help businesses, and while they have gone through so much in life, they are kept out of the raising of the children of society.

Quick statement: I think that children should be raised by the community, with special emphasis on the elders.


I've come to a conclusion on the sex thing too, by the way, which is why I wanted to write this entry.

I think society needs to recognize its sex specialists and give them a higher role in society.

Quick statement 2: Porn stars should give a helping hand in educating our youth about sex!

I absolutely mean that!

Of course you'd want to weed out people who are obscene, but certainly they know more about loving yourself, getting over being ashamed of your physical appearance, especially your genitalia, and they know more about what feels good and what doesn't and when to know your limits, what is dangerous and what is safe, how to properly use contraceptives if you don't want to get pregnant and what you should do if you DO want to get pregnant (diet, timing, etc.) etc., etc., than anyone else! I mean, they're probably an incredible fountain of information on the topic that currently, society looks down upon because of the initial negative idea on sex.

I bet you can find really informative articles on various things like giving great fellatio on a male or a female, and why, what to look out for (warning signs of STDs, what might be painful to your partner, stuff that may seem strange but are totally normal <-there are a lot of those, btw!) around the internet, and I bet a lot of them are written by people who either have lots of sex because they like to and are just interested in sharing that information, or professionals who have lots of sex because they like to. Or doctors who've had lots of sex, for that matter! Sex is great! Pregnancy is great! Having your period is great (even though it kinda sucks)! ALSKDJLKSJ... I think I've said all I need to say on this topic for today!

I'm no expert in Islamic or Jewish religions, but I do know enough to be able to write what I have to say about them. (I took at least three religion courses in college and studied quite a bit on my own. I think too few people do not take interest in this subject and consider it "forced Bible study" instead of an actual opportunity to learn more about our world. Whether you're religious or not, learning about this is important because the vast and overwhelming majority of people on this planet are religious, and before you condemn it it's important to thoroughly know what you're talking about. Without that kind of deep knowledge, you will not be able to reach out to others, much less change the world.)

I do believe that of all the Monotheistic, Institutionalized religions there are, that the Islamic religion is the most peaceful, accepting, and universally understood among its general practitioners. Judaism, in my opinion, follows very closely to it. Christianity is extremely flawed because of the way the Roman people twisted and manipulated what Jesus taught and did. Those who really truly read the Bible (the whole thing!) and think about what God is trying to say to them instead of leaving that thinking up to religious leaders, political leaders, or your parents (I know respecting your elders is important but lets not forget that no one tells you how much you lack, how you should and shouldn't be, how imperfect and bad you are, more than your parents. As if they know better than God, your one true creator, or for that matter, yourself, the created).

Many Christians do not know that none of the Gospels written in the New Testament part of the Bible, was not ever written by any of the original 12 disciples of Jesus, much less the man himself. They were written by scribes 30 or more years after Jesus' death and resurrection, and up to 100 years later were actually compiled and gathered to form a set of written accounts under a certain disciple's name as a representative, i.e. Luke or John. These are probably the closest accounts to what actually happened that we know of, though there are probably even closer accounts somewhere that never made it to the (New) King James version. (Oooh here it is in Wikipedia: "It should be noted that information about the historical Jesus itself was not a singular criterion for inclusion into the New Testament Canon. Not all of the books that ended up in the New Testament contain information about the historical Jesus nor teachings from the historical Jesus, as evidenced by the Epistles and the book of Revelation." from Gospel of Thomas.)

There are many sections in the New Testament that include people such as Paul, that clearly show that the author doesn't really understand what Jesus was teaching and in attempt to understand it, writing out what he personally believes right or wrong. Not that that is wrong, but these often confuses scriptures are included in the New Testament as TRUTH and are unbelievably easy for people with power and control issues to misinterpret to others.

Yes, there are many parts of the Old Testament that can also be misinterpreted, and there are many teachings in both Judaism and Islam that can also be misinterpreted. Also, it is worth pointing out that ALL THREE monotheistic, institutionalized religions have been picked apart and used to govern people, control infidels, and conquer, suppress, and even kill others.

But the main difference that separates Christianity from the other two monotheistic religions, is that Christianity was extensively picked apart by and large by ROMANS, who came from a masculine, egocentric pagan society. While the rest of Europe was enjoying a pagan society that was closely tied in with nature, mothering, healing, spirituality, and emotion, at some point in the ancient past the beliefs and myths supporting the culture of the societies of the Mediterranean coastline changed, switching from the more feminine, goddess-lead, nature-loving paganism (for those who don't believe me, anyone remember GAIA? Or Isis in Egypt? If you forgot, look her up. Thanks.) to a mythology based on jealousy, anger, retribution, and brute force. The gods were to be appeased and you DEFINITELY didn't want to cross the big leader God because he EATS other gods, just imagine what he'd do to YOU. I could go on into the possibilities as to why it changed from this peaceful, loving feminine mythology to an egocentric, violent masculine mythology, but I'd be changing the point of this entry.

So these Romans, who's society and government were supported by a turbulent, violent mythology, probably had a really hard time accepting the peaceful, trusting, faith that the Jewish and Christian people had. It was easy to conquer these people because people who are faithful and peaceful love everyone and don't want to fight and lose lives. They won by brute force, but that's not to overlook the good things they did for their people to win their favor. After all, all battles won by brute force end up being overthrown by rebellious people. You don't have to be a genius or a psychic to foresee that.

Anyway, the tactic of the Romans was to control people, and the teachings of Jesus were becoming a very popular, catchy thing. Many Romans who had traveled to the societies of the south Mediterranean, were intrigued by it and brought it home to pick over with the philosophers and thinkers. Thus began the Gnostic movement. People came up with all sorts of ideas to try to further understand, because from where they were coming from, the world was all about conflict and suffering, control and sacrifice and all that stuff. (There are sects that made up theories about the eternal battle between the light and the dark, self-punishment... I don't know them all off the top of my head, look it up if you're interested.) So for Romans of that day and age, all of this stuff about loving everyone, helping the sick and dying, turning the other cheek when struck by another, etc., was all really hard to understand.

At some point, a decision was made to compile the known scriptures and make an institutionalized religion on Jesus' teachings, mixed with basic Jewish beliefs, and call it "Christianity," after Jesus' attaining the Christ Consciousness. This was of course, in attempt to be able to use it to further control people, conquer people, subjugate people, condemn people, whatever else have you. Different mythology, same practices.

That is why there are so many pagan practices in Christianity, and why there is debate about Jesus' actual dates of birth and death. It was adapted to attempt a compromise the old northwest European pagan belief system to persuade them to convert and avoid being tortured and punished for not wanting to join the Roman Christian Orthodoxy/Empire.

Now, as to why I think Islam is the most peaceful? It's the only religion that really truly embraces peace, and CLEARLY talks about god's love, in detail, and promotes really common sense rituals and explains them, and talks about how you would do well not to kill others, .. I could go on forever. If you actually like talk to a Muslim, you will be surprised at how peaceful and loving their religion is, and how sympathetic and hurt they are when they find members of their religion killing others in the name of their God.

The danger with having such peaceful, accepting, open teachings in any religion is that they are VERY VERY easily misunderstood by people who are not mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually, ready to embrace such thinking. The fundamentalists in any religion are often violent and angry people who use religion as a means to act on their anger and achieve short-term goals that satisfy only a few attention-starved people. There is such a huge contrast between actual Islamic teachings and the behavior of real faithful Muslims, and the fundamentalist rantings and their behavior as so-called Muslims. I think that Islam has the advantage of being the third major religion, based on the same God, interpreted by very sincere intent prophets and the scribes that followed them. Society had already gone through two previous attempts at spelling out what it had learned as a human race on society, governing, dealing with violence and injustice, faithfulness, loyalty, and love.

The flaw with Christianity is that the pure and perfect religion that it could've been, was corrupted right after its birth by people who came from a very different mythological system that ruled their society. If Christians want to follow in the steps of these peaceful, loving, happy, yet humble and quiet people of Islam, they would do well to read the Bible alone, or with a trusted friend, and take notes about what they felt, thought, or what inspired them along the way. If questions arise I encourage people to actually strive to understand them on their own, and not ask priests and popes and pastors until after you've done that, or not at all. This was meant to be a personal, intimate teaching that you can apply to your life, so find God and the answers he'll give you within yourself, as Jesus did.

As for Judaism, I don't know enough about it to say much. I think they have a lot of really old and outdated teachings but I also know that there are constantly people who look them over and stuff with an open mind. I also know that among my religious friends, it is much easier to talk to Jewish people than Christian people about any kind of faith, spirituality, or other such stuff. Christianity was corrupted right from the start and that screwed it up for the whole basis of the religion. Old outdated teachings are still taught as Ultimate Truth without being reviewed or reinterpreted, god-forbid rewritten by today's prophets, and that is what makes it hard to talk to most Christians about those things. Just like their religion asks them to be, they are closed to anything that is new, contradicts what they've been told, or anything coming from anyone but their religious leaders or parents. Though there are obvious reasons why it would serve them better to listen to trusted friends, intellectuals, people they know to be kind and loving and accepting, and especially themselves.

Yes, I am bashing Christianity again. But I'm singling it out because I've spent time thinking about WHY I find so many problems in it, compared to other religions.

Like I often run into this problem with Mimu, instead of getting defensive and fighting with me over this or reacting in some kind of negative way, I encourage people to stick to what they feel comfortable in believing, but don't be a blind follower. Contribute to your religion by educating yourself, making up your own mind, following *your* heart, and encouraging others in your faith to do the same. THIS is what I think makes Jewish and Muslim people stand out.

By Jessica Rains

Long ago, an asteroid hit the moon, sending a piece of the moon down to the earth creating a mass of land in the middle of the ocean. This was before men walked the earth. When the time of man came, a group of highly sentient human beings reached this land and felt very connected to the energy in the soil. They built a kingdom on the land and called themselves the people of the moon, looking up to the moon as the mother of their land and their kingdom.



(...to be continued?)

Enya - Anywhere is

Last night I had another dream like the one I had before. I don't remember all of it but I could control things with the power of my thoughts. I was making the eyes of this doll open and close, making her move her arm, just with the power of my thought about it. I was in this really pretty glass building too, that kind of looked like an old apartment building that I used to live in growing up. And there was a girl on rollerblades who was visiting me there and was younger than me, but I have no idea who she is. She was really cute and shy though! (Maybe it was Tilly!)

Anyway, I think my angels are trying to tell me that the answers to my problems lately lie in my thoughts about it. Now that I know what kind of job I want to get, I should concentrate my thoughts on getting that kind of job and focus my energy on that, rather than putting so much energy on being upset and stuff.

Last night I had a hard time sleeping, but I felt that if I just took deep breaths and concentrated on that, it would help me fall asleep and it did! I think that my doing that I allowed myself to be receptive to messages from my guide spirits and angels. So yay!

Woah.. I had this really weird dream last night that me and a friend of mine like got sucked up to this higher dimension of reality, where what you think can really become reality very easily. We were there for training to become Ascended Masters. Like highly evolved spiritual beings who can do all sorts of stuff because they have a higher understanding of the universe. My friend and I were kind of sucking at it though, and kind of admitted that maybe we weren't totally ready yet, but almost ready. We'd like get on a boat to meet the head instructor, and we went over this waterfall and landed right at the dock, but I went to the front of the boat on purpose and thought that the top end of the boat was going to get all wet and it did and I got soaked, but no one else did. The instructor was angry saying that I needed to watch my thoughts more, but I was like "but everyone went along with me, regardless of their level, and I.. sorta... wanted to get all wet XD" but I guess that wasn't what she wanted me to do.

But I really liked it there anyway. Everything was really light-feeling and simple and people were peaceful and intelligent. There were even many people I knew in my life there as well and people all specialized in something unique to their talents.

THAT'S RIGHT



I SAID FUCK YOU
RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA




鏡よ鏡、答えておくれよ
(「さぁ何だい?」 -What's a matter?-)
私が私でなくなるには
どうすればいい?
(「お安い御用さ」) -It's so easy-









鏡よ鏡、教えておくれよ
(「お次は何だい?」 -What's a matter?-)
私が私である為には
どうすればいい?
(「お安い御用さ」) -It's so easy-










!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



鏡よ鏡、もう消えておくれよ
(「あら何でだい?」 -What's a matter?-)
私は私、あなたはあなた、 そーでしょ?
(「お安い御用さ」) -It's so easy-


(Btw that above is my favorite photoshoot!)








Miyavi, you are who you are, I am who I am.
Never forget your dreams.


Confession:
The guy in these pictures is the guy who brought me to Japan.
He's the guy who inspired me to come back and follow my dreams.
Now that I have my own rainbows, I hope he never loses his.
(I apologize for the confusion with the fuck yous)


OMG RANDOM, AND THIS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

(DISCLAIMER!! If you're very sensitive to stuff about sex-related crimes, read this with caution, or don't read it at all. I'm only making this statement because I have people who are very close to me who have suffered from sex-related crimes and I know how hard this type of thing is for them to even hear about, this was even hard enough for me and I kind of feel sick, so.. I'm just saying..)

http://news.aol.com/main/nc/article/6-bodies-found-in-anthony-sowells/746332
(this is what you don't necessarily have to read unless you're interested)

First of all, I can't understand how anyone can have intercourse or any kind of sexual act with another person who doesn't want it, much less is struggling with you, crying, yelling, is scared, or is under your own physical abuse or is dying or already dead, or will die shortly after you've had your fill. The thought of it makes me nauseous.. I don't even understand how people can write fanfics or fictional fantasies about it - they clearly have no idea what they're writing about.

Sex is a beautiful sacred thing! And by sacred, I don't mean like we-have-to-be-more-restricted-with-it holy, I mean it's a glorious loving amazing thing that should be celebrated. Perhaps one of the main causes of sexual violence is because of the misguidance our society as a world puts on sex. From being embarrassed to your own body, to feeling shame in the act of sex, wanting to have sex, wanting to make yourself feel good, and having children, I think our society as a whole needs to really look at it's entire idea of sex and childbearing and childraising.

So then, lastly, I just wanted to make a statement on the absolutely retarded law enforcement certain areas in the US (in particular, this case). How can you have a neighborhood with so many women missing, and have a convicted rapist released from prison living in the neighborhood, and not have any reason to file a search warrant on the guy's house? Whether he's on parole or not that's kind of a no-brainer, especially when the neighborhood is complaining of a smell, and he's peddling the streets for cash - clearly he isn't doing very well. How can you miss that?

Then I hear that the aviation committee hasn't updated it's pilot working hours regulations since the 1940's.......that's like saying they've never been updated at all since commercial flights didn't even start until just a decade before. Then the SEA is missing some of the biggest business frauds in history right under their noses. I dunno.. I'm sick of the joke here, you know? Because it's not a joke - people are dying, people's lives are being ruined, rapists should not be let go - I don't care about rehabilitation I don't want a rapist in my neighborhood, I wouldn't feel safe EVER. I know personally what it can do to people and I can't believe that any country's law enforcement would just release them into the public. Clearly, 15 years doesn't make a difference. We've got this guy, Jaycee Dugard's situation.. hundreds of others I'm sure. like what the hell? Can we learn from our mistakes here? SLKDJFLKSJDFLKJSLD Ok, I need to calm down @_@

So, I was updating my status on Twitter (I'm JessRainbows in case anyone wants to know), and realized that even though I don't use Twitter like every day, I use it more for actually talking about how I am doing, more than I do on livejournal. Which is kind of weird, since a lot happens to me - why don't I journal that stuff here more?

I think that since I got so into Masakarasu, and so many people started reading my journal, that I used livejournal more to reach others and share whatever things I had been thinking about. But.. ok, this is going on too long. So without further adieu, here's a journal!

There are two things I'd like to talk about in this entry: my week so far and manga pens.

Monday I got sick of being bored and having so much time on my hands, so I got up and sent out some letters (including a Miyavi fanmail, the second one I've ever made - the first being a fan project birthday party that Hikari and I did back in 2006, and my resumes to a record label for a job), and then I marched right down to Shibuya's Hello Work office. Hello Work is like a big job searching recruitment organization that is run through the government. It provides free recruiting services for job listers and job seekers, and most people and companies in Japan make use of it. My boss at Blue Note told me about it and like I said, I was bored of being bored and decided to give it a shot.

It was kind of awkward at first because it was my first time. You have to fill out this form which I thought was really redundant since I had brought my fabulous resumes with me, and then they let you search through their computer system for jobs while you wait. When my number was called the woman registered my information, talked to me about what I could do, and even found a place for me. Though she said that Hello Work doesn't have a lot of listings in the type of work I am looking for now, she found one by chance but also gave me a link to a recruitment site that does have things like that.

Basically I'm looking to work at a language school or a foreign exchange school, now, as staff. I've always helped everyone I know who's come to Tokyo, as long as it was possible (I am really sorry I couldn't meet some people, though, work, time, money sometimes wont allow no matter how hard I tried! Also lack of useful contact methods really makes things hard. If you're not gonna be here for more than like 15 days, and are not planning on coming back, rental phones are WORTH IT! Either that, or get a phone card and use those public phones without reserve people!!) Ok, anyway, back to JOURNALING! So, this one place is basically that. Helping people with money, home stays, whatever, possibly going on field trips, being awesome. Like.. I can do that! Or rather, that's what I want to do. I want to offer what I do for free (or sometimes end up paying for myself) in my job and get paid for it. I want to do what the staff did at my own study abroad school, basically.

After my eventful Hello Work experience, I found a broken designer umbrella in the bathroom. I fixed it, doused it in antibacterial spray, and voila! Gift from god! It's polka dots on two shades of silver. Lately I've been really into pastel colors, pink, and silver. I think I'm turning into an angel.. like it's really easy to be super nice even to people who treat me like shit lately, like I feel good about myself enough that I don't even mind.

Ok not journaling again - but seriously. TO all of my friends who have problems with impatience in their lives: Don't fight with yourselves. If you body and soul are telling you to wait, telling you to stay, don't fight it! Trust that you will go through what you need to and will come out ready to move forward again. Through this last month and a half I have gone through dramatic ups and downs. There was a lot of healing I needed to do that I probably have ignored doing since I made the decision to study abroad back in 2004. I was worried this whole time that I'd get back into the slump I did when I graduated in 2006, where I was jobless for the most part of that year until I went to Japan to find work. It was during that time that I did most of my work for Masakarasu and the overseas Jrock fan community, but it was largely unpaid work. I feel like I've done all the healing I've needed and got it done in just a month in a half. I feel like an angel, I'm back to my artistic, loving, spiritual self, and most importantly, I'm back to loving myself! And even though I was afraid I wouldn't get back to this, I'm back to wanting to find a job for real. So great. So please be patient with yourselves my friends. Trust in your soul, because it is sailing through life on an easy-going course and all things will conclude in love and light, joy and wisdom.

Now, about manga pens!
So after my trip to Hello Work on Monday, I went to Loft (gigantic arts and crafts store) to look at manga pens. Lately I've been so into drawing and creating my characters and storyline for this Sailor Moon stuff that I decided to look into actually getting the proper pens for inking my work. I used to use Sakura Micron pens, but I certainly don't have them anymore as I have no belongings in the US or a home to go to or anything stops self-pitying now I wanted to try something more original. I'd heard that they require a lot of practice, so I decided to get the fountain-pen type, instead of the actual pen set.

Let me explain with pictures.
fountain pen type:


real pen set:


SO I bought the fountain pen type just to see how I liked it. I LOVED IT!!! I got used to it very quickly, but found it frustrating because little pen fibers kept getting stuck in between the teeth of the point and jamming the ink flow. It HONESTLY really wasn't that bad, but I'm impatient and I took a thin papercutter to it and well, broke it. Now it's constantly making thick lines.

I was really upset about it but instead of sitting there in shame, I went and bought a new one, AND I bought a real pen set. The cool thing is that they're actually very cheap since so many people use them, and have to frequently replace them. But to make things even better, the store I bought them at (yuzawaya) was having a 30% off sale on all manga-related items! I bought a new fountain pen, an ink set with black ink and white correction ink, a wooden pen, and two different nibs (the tips - I looked at THIS webpage and decided upon Zebra G-pen and Nikko school pen for now. I REALLY REALLY REALLY like the Zebra G-pen. It's SO smooth and natural and makes beautiful lines, but Nikko's school pen isn't much different, it isn't as bouncy though - it's more stiff feeling.

I use an old soft-bristle toothbrush to clean them with dishsoap because I don't know how to properly do it, but I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE them and have been inking everything I've drawn in my entire sketchbook even if it sucks just because they're AWESOME. I wish I had a scanner so I could post stuff I've done!

I also got a cheap colored pencil set from the dollar store and have been coloring in my finished works. Everything is so pretty zomg!
And I'm learning that I'm WAY better at coloring with colored pencil and watercolor or acrylic paints than with any other media. So I feel really happy that I'm rediscovering my own artistic talent and learning where my real strengths are.

BUT OMG I LOVE MY PENS

This is kinda totally understandable XD

Miyavi (Also known as Miyabi, 雅-MIYAVI- 382 TOKYO, that-one-guy-who-looks-like-Aoi-from-The GazettE, Japanese Samurai Guitarist, M, MYV, Meev, and briefly Santa Claus) is known to humanity as a self-proclaimed rock star as well as CEO of J-Glam, Inc., but in reality, is the result of Gackt crossbreeding with a Togodura (or Sealeo, depending on whether or not you’re from the Kanto region and are an expert Pokemon trainer) and a wood elf. At birth he was given super guitar powers by hide after he had lost a bet and realized that the world desperately needed a new metro sexual guitarist to keep up the name of Japanese-Solo-Artists-That-Are-Kinda-Decent. He was also intended to be The GazettE’s secret weapon against Scientologists, but it became apparent Miyavi was disinterested in his mission after his shotgun wedding with the secret weapon of the Scientologists, melody.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Miyavi

(Thank you Zoe)

Last night I had a really strange dream. Despite the content, I wasn't actually scared.

It started out when I was really young, like 3 to 6 years old. I lived in Germany or Austria and was in a large Jewish family with 6 to 8 children. I think we were actually two or three families grouped together. I don't even remember who were my real blood brothers and sisters because from this young age, we all moved into the attic of our parents' friend's house and lived there in hiding during the beginning of the Nazi regime. I don't even think we lived there for very long, maybe only 9 months to a year or two, when we were all found out. The Nazi's took the parents away, but gathered us children together and took us with them. I think that the wife/wives of these Nazi's were childless, and since we were such adorable cheerful children, they decided to adopt us instead.

We grew up in these Nazi generals' houses which were very luxurious. They gave us very nice clothes and toys and treats and I think we were even on TV or in the newspaper sometimes because we were really talented adorable children, and there were so many of us. But as we got older, some of the children realized that they had been kidnapped and were actually Jewish and rebelled or tried to escape. Actually, I'm not even sure if this is the case, but some of us started disappearing, or terrible things were done to some of us.

I was closest to my older brother, and my younger brother. I don't think either one was actually from both of my parents, but I think the younger one was a half-brother. My older brother told me what was happening - why some of our siblings were missing - and tried to sneak out and take us with him, but he got caught and when he tried to make up an excuse, he was scolded for lying and rebelling and was beaten up.

My younger brother's birthday came, and I went to take him to a candy store with our older brother to buy him some treats. The older brother made a distraction and was caught (and probably killed because I don't recall seeing him after this), but I escaped with my younger brother who just did not want to understand. I told him what was going on and said, "We told you we were going to give you candy for your birthday, but instead we are giving you freedom! This is much better, we need to escape."

And we ran away. We went to this field with long golden grasses (maybe it was wheat..) for a while and this is when I realized that I had feelings for my younger half-brother, and he reminded me A LOT of Mimu. It was really awkward at first but we convinced each other that it wasn't really bad that we had feelings for each other since we weren't really brother and sister and I think we had sex or something close to it anyway... but no matter how close we were he never really believed that the Nazi Germans were against us.

So one day when we were really hungry and running out of food and money, the Nazi generals who had kept us had caught up with us. I hid us both but my brother didn't believe me and fought with me, called me stupid, and then went out to them thinking they'd be so happy to see him alive and ok. But, of course, they beat him and shot him right at the spot.

I couldn't cry or anything because the same fate would come to me if I was found out, so I just hid quietly until they left.

Then I escaped to some other country where I'd be safe and anonymous, but I was starving and I had no money and my clothes and shoes were so ratted and torn from walking for so long, that they were almost of no help to me whatsoever. I went to a store that had shoes and clothes and looked around, even tried some shoes on, but I couldn't buy anything because I had no money, and I felt bad. All around me there were wealthy women buying whatever they desired and I was looking around at these cheap school girl shoes.

I then started thinking about how Donki-ho-te ("Don Quixote" cheap duty-free store in Japan that has like everything you'd ever need in a big mess) has the same kind of school girl shoes for like 1000 or 1800 yen or something really super cheap. And I was thinking, "But maybe they're like horrible quality leather with hard insoles." And I tried on one pair, but as I was trying them on they changed into some designer boots and I was like "Ugh I don't want these.. even though the clips are really cool, wow how does this work?" And I got way distracted and woke myself up XD

But when I woke up I just kinda silently thought over the dream and thought, "Man I think that was a past life." I've noticed that past life experiences tend to reveal themselves as you run into similar problems in your current life, as this sort of thing has happened to me before. But I remember SO much like really specific things about the time period, and that's classic of a past life remembering.

I remember that the radio was like the coolest thing ever, and there were houses all in a row along the streets which weren't very wide and I think were made of stone, and the windows all looked over the streets. We all had really cute German-style clothes like Leiderhosen and shit, and hats and bonnets and stockings and all of this stuff that you'd expect to see in an old movie, but they were totally NORMAL BELONGINGS to me in this dream. All of the women wore skirts and blouses, and the Nazi Generals spent a lot of time sitting on patio chairs or hanging out in the parlor of their mansions smoking cigars and drinking some kind of liquor. I remember what they looked like, I remember their uniforms, and I remember it in color.

I think I was a cute little blonde girl and that's why I was able to get away with not being so obviously "Jewish", and most of my siblings didn't look outrageously "Jewish" either.

I wonder if there is any particular historical record of something like this. By the time the war was over I was already an adult, because I was around my age now while I was escaping and being ragged, poor and starving in this other country. So there is a possibility that it really was a past life of mine, since someone who was in their mid-twenties in the 1940's would already have been in their mid-60's by the time I was born, and I've always been told that I've always died young in my past lives.

Ok so, this entry is more or less for my own personal record. I'm writing one after this one about a dream I had that I'm more interested in sharing with others.

I think I figured out why my hip has been hurting so much lately, and why it hurts like this every now and then.

It gets out of place and pinches a nerve or rubs the cartilage the wrong way or puts unusual strain on tendons or something.

But I remember when I used to go to a chiropractor regularly, that my hip/pelvis was always having to be adjusted. It was always twisted or tilted or something in the same way, every single time I'd go back. My back was curved because of my large chest, and my neck had problems because of a snowboarding accident, but that got better after a while. The one thing that never got better at all was my pelvis.

So my hip has been hurting again, and I noticed that if I walk with my foot pointed outwards, it doesn't hurt so bad. But even after a few hours of walking like that, my knee starts to hurt and my other hip gets sore from the extra strain.

Suddenly just before coming home today, I remembered that my pelvis was always crooked and I consciously made an effort to twist it slightly to the right, pushing my left hip (the one that hurt) forward a little. In doing so, my hip is in the same position as it would be if it were pointing outward, yet my foot is actually pointing forward so my knee and right hip don't hurt.

Problem solved right?

Then I sit down on the floor and cross my legs to play on my computer. Usually this is kind of difficult for me to do for a long period of time anyway, but when my hip hurts like this I can't do it at all. But I actually heard/felt it snap back into place just now!

So I think that was it, my pelvis is just twisted which makes my hip weak, and when my boyfriend pounced on me the other night, it jammed my hip out of place. Now that I know to be more careful about my pelvis, maybe this wont happen and my hip will grow stronger

YAY!!

But really, I should see a chiropractor regularly so they can actually FIX my pelvis. I wonder if they have braces for this kind of thing, because this is only going to put strain on my lower back muscles and my right hip XD, becuase I'm like physically twisting, not correcting the bones ._.

Has anyone tried it?

I think it's funny that on their webpage it says:
"Hanging onto Windows XP? See what you're missing."

No mention of uber fail Vista there.

Answer: Why yes, how did you guess?

If Windows 7 isn't basically like Mac OS X Leopard, there's no point in me letting go of Windows XP

:P

Your horoscope for October 28, 2009
There is no need to frown when another person walks by, Jessica, just because that person may be unknown to you. We must break this habit of living our lives in fear. Take active steps towards curing this trend by not stepping down when strong forces try to intimidate you with their brute strength today. Promote the pictures of peace and serenity that you have stored inside your head. Bring more of your innards outward.


あら。。しかも虹のドレスなんだよね～



ちなみに最近すっごく悩んでたの。
いつもの仕事と人生の使命などの悩みの上、
ミムちゃんも最近仕事で大変になって、
ストレスで調子悪くなったり、
帰って無言になって突然怒ったり泣いたりして、
そして、雅と呼ばれるあの馬鹿ちんも、
日本に帰ってよかったとは思うけど、
毎日アイツの夢も見てて、
なんか。。。変な予感だあるよね。

せっかく自分の人生の使命を見つけたって
思ってたのに、こんなに緊張するようになって。。

そしてね、
昨日不思議なメールが来たわ。

一体どういうことだろうって、
ずっと反芻してるね、。。

や。。
なんか落ち着かないわ＞＿＜
瞑想でもできないかも、
せめてセーラームーンに夢中にして、
絵を描いたり、音楽聴いたり、
目を閉じて深呼吸すれば
きっとちょっとでもよくなるわね。
は～。。

もうすぐ11月だね。。
誰か私を助けてください。。。
仕事なんて探したくないわ。その悪循環はもう飽きたの！
でも、どうしても日本にいられる方法を見つけないと。。

I just had to put out a big thanks for my uncle Pat, because I don't think I have anyone as wise and as fatherly in my life but him, and I'm so glad he's there for me when I need that. He's awesome. I kind of wish he was my father but you know, him being my uncle only forces me to be more independent and someone who can think on my own. It's just so great having someone like him in case I really need advice or help. God.... thank you for my uncle Pat. I would really be alone without him.

Hey why doesn't any of the other sailor scouts have any descendants?
I"m totally gonna make them up

Maybe I should make some sailor moon doujinshi, there totally needs to be more story!
Does anyone have any info on that? I'm not that good at writing stories but I definitely can draw, and I'm interested in learning about writing manga formats and stuff. I can get basic plots but writing them out in an elongated story line is kinda hard XD;; (*is too impatient for that \D*)

Has anyone ever heard of these guys?